A Blank Wall's Innocence

You never know something's gone until it truly is. It sounds morbid, but honestly, there just isn't any other way to express it. When my mom broke the news over lunch today, I didn't really believe her. I stared at the blank wall in front of me, and I'm sure my face paled as white as a sheet. The wall was an extreme contrast to my whirlwind of thoughts, and it held me like a blank pillow or canvas to bury myself in. I had already lost two people in the pandemic, and you can only imagine what it must have been like for my mom, who was the closest to my uncle and great-grandfather. We didn't believe my dad's brother either, until the X-rays and real scans proved that his lungs had been torn by Covid too. Honestly, I should be thanking every god or goddess out there for the fact that my uncle is still alive. However, my friend, one of my best childhood friends, can't thank anyone. His cousin passed away because of Covid-19, and my heart still stutters to think that she was only three years younger than me, and one year younger than my friend. Yes, I'm being selfish. Yet, I feel like these times make us all selfish to a degree. His aunt (her mom) is in denial, and she can't bring herself to believe that she lost her daughter. Her only daughter. I can't blame her, and what's worse, no one can help her.

The CDC used to say that children don't need vaccines. Suddenly, they're rolling out vaccines like people who are only desperate to get rid of them. They lowered the risk range from 16 years old to 12 years old. I'm pretty sure that soon, they'll find a way to explain why kids that are 9 and younger are fine, but not the rest. My dad, who I generally consider a negative person, had grudgingly made a point. Vaccines are starting to be rolled out as profit-makers, not as genuine efforts to help the public. I really wish that it wasn't true, but it seems to me that the only thing America (and admittedly, many parts of the world) run on is money. The thing is, sometimes we get controlled by money too. What we never realize is that money only has value because we say it does. We don't have to be affected by money. Sometimes, it's good to be selfish, to show weakness, and to play by your desire. Sometimes, we just need to be a bit more human than we allow ourselves.